Harry Potter au where Harry didn’t lose being a parsletongue and Albus buys a snake as a pet one year because snakes are cool and one day just walks in on Harry and the snake having a deep conversation
Albus is 17 and loses his virginity in his room and forgets the snake talks to his dad and when Harry gets home the snake is all like OH MY GOSH YOU’D NEVER GUESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS WHAT HAPPENED
Carlos getting accidentally poked in the eye with a boner in college and henceforth refusing to preform oral sex without safety goggles to this very day
and Cecil’s weirdly into it?
They’re making out on the couch and Cecil’s like ‘do you have protection?’ and Carlos just straps on some safety goggles he was carrying with him for that purpose and Cecil’s just like ‘… okay.’
I don’t know what you’re looking at, buddy, but I think you’ve got no dates…
Pun Dog #14 (previously)
One of the reasons why Emma Watson is one of the best female role-models of our time. She’s so underrated.